We don’t have to be yogis to access the extraordinary power of our own breaths. Whether it is called relaxation breathing, conscious breathing, rhythmic breathing, or controlled breathing, this simple but powerful strategy offers vast benefits to our emotional states, well being, and health. Breathing reduces stress, eases symptoms of anxiety, boosts the immune system, and facilitates better sleep.
Taking a moment to breathe is an excellent way to pause in difficult discussions, before feelings run too hot and escalate into painful, hurtful arguments. This is true in all relationships, but can be especially helpful for mothers and teen daughters talking about sensitive or controversial topics. Women who are emotionally triggered by teens pushing their buttons would be well served by taking relaxing breaths before tackling further conversation.
There are many different forms of conscious breathing, but in my experience the most effective one is this: Inhaling to a count of four, holding for two counts, exhaling to a count of six, and holding for another two before starting the sequence again. Biologically, this strategy quiets the central nervous system. Elongating your exhale relative to your inhale signals that there’s no threat, calling off the sympathetic nervous system’s release of cortisol to ready the fight, flight, or freeze response. Instead, the parasympathetic—rest and digest—system takes over, bringing you from activation into rest. To enhance the effect, as you exhale focus on relaxing your muscles.
Women who use conscious breathing can teach their daughters to do so, as well. Teen girls, who often have difficulty falling asleep, can try relaxation breathing before bedtime to de-clutter their minds. They can discretely use this technique to feel more serene, prepared, and grounded before a test, before (and after) tense conversations, and to prepare for anxiety-provoking performances. The beauty of it is that it’s free and always available, anywhere and anytime.
For more information, check out Deepak Chopra’s article.