No matter her age, it can be worrisome to see your daughter in a toxic friendship that you think is unhealthy, makes her unhappy, or erodes her confidence. Thinking back to when you were a teen or tween, you’ll probably recall that navigating social waters is rarely smooth. During middle school, especially, friendships tend to shift. Your daughter may suddenly have a new bestie that she can’t be separated from, and then, just as quickly, move on to another girl or group. In high school, some teens I’ve worked with are bereft after friends they have had since elementary school or even before suddenly distance themselves—and for no apparent reason.
Although these experiences are painful—for you as well as your daughter!—they are a normal part of growing up. Coping with slights, disappointments, and rejections teaches girls the emotional resiliency they will need for life. From inevitable ups and downs in friendships, teens and tweens learn more about themselves, what they value in relationships, and how to be a friend. Feedback from peers—both positive and negative—encourages your daughter to reflect on how she speaks and behaves, and perhaps to make changes in how she comes across.