I am almost finished with Stressed Out Girls and I just wanted to tell you — whew!— what a relief it is to read a book like that. I was a straight A student (except a few B’s in college!), always wondering why my girls didn’t follow in my footsteps – I always wracked my brains about it, examining and re-examining what I didn’t do right for them that they didn’t turn out like me as students….After reading your book I realized that I was pretty much ALL about academics as a kid – I never left room to explore that much of anything else.. My kids are talented musicians, athletes, artists – all of their own choice with no push from me or my husband…. From you I realize that I’m doing a lot more right by them by letting them explore who they are and what they want out of life – much more right than wrong… I loved the part about not being judgmental about report cards (I never am, although sometimes I’m dying inside)… but I do like your suggestion to ask them if they feel good about it or not. I will try that one next time. It’s soooo hard in a place like Westport to keep your compass straight – everyone pushes their kids and so much conversation revolves around grades and college. Thanks for letting me know that my family is really on a good path…and that I have a lot to be proud of…
I am currently reading your book Stressed Out-Girls, and I love it! I am probably one of the busiest and most stressed-out girls in my class. Being senior class president, the head of 2 clubs, varsity tennis captain, and taking eight classes in school (not to mention trying to get into college!) the word “pressure” is nothing new to me. I often take on too much, and find it hard to say “no” when asked to do something. I barely made it through Junior year, because I took on too much and had a huge mental breakdown. My grades went down and I wish I could just start over again. That is why I chose the Disease to Please in Women for my research project. I don’t think a lot of girls my age realize how much they try to please their parents, coaches, teachers etc and how much it affects their lives.
You have done a great job researching and documenting the problems of adolescent girls and give sound, practical advice. From insecurity, to appearance, to competition, to anxieties, to break-ups with boyfriends, your book brings life to the descriptions of the problems by using the voices of many different girls. It should be helpful to parents as they look for ways to help their daughters deal with the stresses of growing up without contributing to the difficulties! What I especially appreciated was the focus on the future: we want our girls to be learning how to be confident, capable adults.
Why is she not more responsible? When will she find her passion and sense of direction? Why does she make excuses for not doing better, instead of applying herself to the fullest? Reading Stressed-out Girls , we learn how girls coming of age today feel scrutinized and stressed by the myriad of great expectations and pressures to grow up which surround them. In this revealing, well-researched, and brilliant book, which includes many wise testimonials of youth, Dr. Roni Cohen-Sandler exposes the primary sources of girls’ stress, including the well-meaning adults who are trying to ‘help’. This guidebook should be required reading for parents, teachers and counselors alike, transforming our approaches to the young women entrusted to us.
Dr. Cohen-Sandler guides us through the difficult issues facing our adolescent daughters with compassion, professional insight and practical advice. Her voice is calm and reassuring – I started to believe that together my daughters and I would successfully handle the stresses of entering high school and college!
Not only is this book wonderful, but also I felt as if it was written specifically for me. I couldn’t put it down—and neither will any parent of a teenage girl.
I absolutely loved your book. It offered insights into many different types of girls and, furthermore, outlined a number of strategies for working with our daughters. I have highlighted certain texts throughout. Please accept my heartfelt congratulations on your new book. It is wonderful and should be read by every mother I know.
The book is clear, concise, engaging, and practical, and delivers insights and information in a way that allows ease of access for parents and teachers…there are important observations, insights, and recommendations that would help teachers assess, reflect, on and respond more effectively to student behaviors and needs…I could see this as a text used in counselor education courses that emphasize adolescent behavior and school home partnerships.
Few books have been published recently that truly explore differences among girls–too often we are focusing attention on girl-boy differences. Cohen-Sandler’s timely and relevant research and its accompanying practical suggestions truly takes the area of girls psychology deeper in a way that will help critically examine cultural norms. Understanding the five groups of girls who are at risk for serious stress and adjustment difficulties will help teachers, counselors, parents, and girls themselves better balance modern pressures for adolescents. If you care about girls, read this book!
This excellent book offers valuable insight into teens’ thoughts, feelings and behaviors, and will help parents build a trusting relationship with their daughter.