“I’m Not Mad, I Just Hate You!”
A New Understanding of Mother-Daughter Conflict



‘I’m Not Mad, I Just Hate You!’ takes on the formidable challenge of dealing with a daughter’s explosive teenage years..[with] practical tools for staying connected. The Los Angeles Times

This pep talk could be read daily by every mother of a teenage daughter.  Library Journal

Wonderful and insightful, witty and compelling, this book is a lifeline for both mothers and teen daughters.”  Karen Bokram, Editor in Chief of Girls’ Life magazine

At War With Your Daughter?  Un-clench your fists and put your hands around this new title—“I’m Not Mad, I Just Hate You!” A New Understanding of Mother-Daughter Conflict…Cohen-Sandler’s gift to readers is her forgiving attitude about conflict. She assumes that moms and daughters will tangle, but that doesn’t mean they fail each other or lack for love. Full of cool-headed perspective and practical solutions, “I’m Not Mad” invites us to see conflict not as a wedge that drives us from our daughters, but the glue that helps hold us together. Daughters Magazine

Cohen-Sandler and Silver have a true understanding of how teens and their moms think and behave.  Parents will recognize their own voices and those of their teen daughters, which resonate through this very helpful and readable book. Nancy Samalin, Author of Loving Your Child Is Not Enough

Cohen-Sandler, a psychologist, and Silver, an editor of Girl’s Life magazine, offer advice to mothers anxious about surviving their daughters’ teen years. The authors assume that conflict is a given. Their aim is to provide mothers with strategies for coping with problems and even turning them into something positive. They reason that if girls learn how to handle conflict early on, if they can develop constructive ways of coping with their emotions, they will be that much further ahead in life. The authors offer some interesting examples and suggestions: advising mothers to choose their battles carefully and to calm themselves down before confronting their daughters. They take the usual approach of telling readers what to say and what not to say through a series of short, familiar vignettes. Publishers Weekly

This book offers solid ground when it may feel like things are falling apart. Booklist

The book is a down-to-earth guide for mothers who want to help their daughters grow into well-adjusted adults and delves into the reasons for adolescent friction. The Ridgefield Press

Roni Cohen-Sandler, Ph.D…a clinical psychologist and author, has written an essential book for moms that will help tame the typhoon in stormy households across the country—the homes of today’s teenaged girls. The book’s title alone is a grabber:  “I’m Not Mad, I Just Hate You!” Cohen-Sandler provides mothers with guidance in understanding bewildering exchanges, and in defusing and managing both major and minor mother-daughter conflicts…She writes in a personal, easy-to-read style, addressing the reader directly. ..Self-doubting mothers will gain (or regain) confidence in themselves as parents. The Norwalk Hour

With a refreshing combination of common sense, first-hand experience, and years of both scholarly and professional expertise, Roni Cohen-Sandler, Ph.D. spoke to parents…about the conflicts that exist between adolescents and their parents. Westport Minuteman

This well-organized, easy to read book helps mothers to understand why they seem so often to become the target of their teenage girls’ anger. The Mediator

…take comfort from Cohen-Sandler’s simple dictum:  ‘Perhaps the single most powerful skill in your repertoire of mothering strategies is to listen to your daughter. Cleveland Jewish News

Cohen-Sandler and Silver use absorbing case studies to show mothers how they can work on building new connections to their daughters, ones that will last for many years to come. Charlene C. Giannetti and Margaret Sagarese Authors of The Roller-Coaster Years

If you need humor to get you through your daughter’s adolescence, take a look at I’m Not Mad, I Just Hate You!.  Cohen-Sandler has appeared on television shows such as “Oprah” and in speaking engagements around the country. But even if you haven’t had the pleasure of hearing her speak, you can enjoy the light touch that permeates this book of strategies and case studies. Choose your battles; set guidelines; check your emotional temperature. The thoughts are pithy and the explications engaging. Julie Riskin, Metrokids




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